26 hours until I see my gorgeous boy. Not that I counted or anything, or that I'm mega excited

Note to self: Don't be too hard on yourself, it’s not your fault you’re incapable of doing anything worthwhile.

i dont even know how i feel now.

i just don't know whats wrong with me, i haven't burst into tears like this for a while. i hate this so much.

Dear Katy Perry,

I fucking love you. you have lyrics that match my every mood. I love love love circle the drain. you are my absolute idol.

"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO ROCK AND ROLL, BUT YOU'RE REALLY JUST A JOKE" yesyesyesyes.


luv ya 4 lyfe
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

feel like i have so much work to do. 5 pieces, luckily, none due tomorrow.
i wanna try and do as much as possible today so i can have a relatively relaxed weekend.

should be gettting my new phone today, hopefully.

i was having an alright day until i dropped my phone and cracked the screen. fml.

i'm feeling a little better now. still scared though.

there are few words to describe how i felt yesterday. two are fucking terrified. and i still am.

i also wish people would leave me alone, i just wanna crawl under my covers and hibernate for a while.

you only want me when you want something from me. nice.
can't be bothered with you and the pathetic looks you give me.


bye.

you constand moodswings are giving me whiplash, do you want me or not? srsly, kthxbai.

foul mood, woo.

can i go crawl into my bed and sleep until 9:30 tomorrow night? please.
that way i can talk and cuddle my boy for a while, like 30mins?

then fastforward to 6:00 saturday afternoon so i can see my boy again until sunday morning when i have to go to work.

17 hours. is that it? fuck my life.


i'm not happy.

when i got of the phone to my boyfriend last night, i burst into tears. when i tried to sleep last night, i burst into tears.

yeah, basically i burst into tears a lot. 'cause i'm cool like that D:

179 words, 221 to go.

havin' dinner now, then work, then shopping, then history woo -.-

i'm gonna go shopping after work for a big bag and new clothes so that basically means i need to write 400 words before work. ah shiiite.

when i said i like writing essays i didnt mean "HEY GIMMIE MILLIONS OF ESSAYS DUE IN A COUPLE DAYS"



-.- im gonna die. srsly.

"I'll call you again in a minute?"

"I need to do some sixthform work really"

"I'll text you then"

"yeah sure"
"Okay, bye"
"Bye"
"LOVE YOU"
"LOVE YOU TOO"
"YAY!"

"hehehehehehe"

He's just too cute - i love him

so i had a crappy stressy day and my confidence level is back to zero. yayz4lyfe/.


...and now what i want more than ever is to lock myself in my room, cuddle my "little riley" under my bed wearing my boyfriends clothes that he left and hibernate until friday.

Will I ever feel good enough?

'cause I never have.

Will I ever feel good enough?
'cause I never have.

I was scared to death that i'd done something wrong and all you say is dont worry. tbh, it didnt reassure me. it should of. im sorry im a stupid bitch.

all my love.

katie xx

hah, just found out i have people looking at my blog..
well i knew there would be some kind of chance people would... didnt think people would be interested..

if you have/read my blog.. please comment? be nice.

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!



i seriously am depressed.
i need a hug.

my 3rd day without seeing my boyfriend...only three to go.

who am i kidding? i miss him so much!
probably why im in a pissy mood tbh.

gah. im in such a pissy mood, and i dont know why. maybe its cos i'm tired? mm, probably.

gahhhhh. today was bad. mega mega tired. the fourth night that I haven't slept properly. WHY BODY WHY?!
i don't understand.

work was verrrrrrry busy, more busy than any Sunday has ever been. and with me being tired and irritable that's not good.

just got all my sixth form stuff ready for tomorrow, i go in at 9:30, have geography, break, btec science, study session, lunch and tutor, then home. doesn't seem so bad. we'll seeeeee.



so ima go have my self some lime milkshake, m'n'ms and text my gorgeous boy, then get an early night;

nighty night xo!

first driving lesson. didnt go as bad as i thought it would, i'm so pleased to say that.


i really must sleep tonight, thats three nights ive been tossing and turning in my bed, unable to sleep. i wish i had an off switch for the thinking/worrying side of my brain. that would make my life so much easier.

i dont know if you've read what ive written recently but i was begining to wonder if i had made the right choice staying on at my shcool for the sixthform, instead of collage. i still havent decided whether i have made the right decision for me, or whether it was considered the "easier" option. well let me tell you now, its not easy. although i prefer being able to stay living at my house and being able to see my boyfriend.



this wont mean anything to anyone but me but, im so glad you care enough to worry about how i am and feel. that means a lot, i know thats a weird thing to say. mmm, lave yahhh boyyyy.



xo

oh this is terrible. what if all of it was a mistake?



i need reassurance. now.

i've got a giraffe. a real one. just sayin'

yeah, you read that right. my boyfriend adopted one for me, called Savannah. she's beautiful and im gonna go see her soon. book time off work just for it. she's my baby now. which makes me a grandma. yay. im old.

yeah so i had a great birthday.


started sixthform today...
could it be a mistake?