day 10 - discuss your first love and first kiss.

Quite obviously, I have a different view on my first "love" now, then when it was actually happening. Looking back on it now, I was so stupid. I don't even think that he "loved" me. I mean he said he did, but I was 14, immature and naive I guess. I didn't have any experiences of boyfriends, he was my first. I didn't know how to act or feel or anything. I don't suppose you could call it a real relationship, we didn't really talk all that much, a couple of texts a night and saw each other once a week, if that. It went on for about five months, until he ended it. For a 14 year old it was heartbreaking in the moment it happened, two days later i was over him. Seems slightly pathetic now really, if i really did "love" him then it would have taken a lot longer than two days. While I was going out with him I was warned of him, that he was a user, being the naive child I was I didn't really take much notice of this and carried on, looking back on it, he probably did, I was just some girl that he didn't really know that well, we barely knew each other, how could that be love? clearly its not. As for the kiss, it was the same boy that I had my first kiss with. I don't really remember it all that well, we were just walking along I think, and I just looked at him and he kissed me. I think that was it.

If you asked me now, who was my first proper love. I would say my current boyfriend. I remember every little detail of how we got together, our first kiss and the moment he asked me out for real. Having the confidence to actually tell someone that you like them is like putting all your faith and power into them, it's overwhelming. But to have them say to you that they like you back, is the greatest feeling in the world. That was probably one of the happiest moments of my life so far. Our first kiss was after we both admitted that we liked each other, we were watching Love Actually - How fitting! - and we were sitting on the sofa his arms around me, cuddling me and I just turned round to look at him, and we both just glanced into each others eyes, leaned in and there you go, the most perfect kiss. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.