I don’t know how this blog will turn out, just a warning.
I wish the fucking chickens would shut the hell up. It’s not doing my headache any good, but it’s too hot to shut the window. I’m probably not great company today, sorry. That’s why i kind of kept myself away from my family today; i might be a little snappy. I’m exhausted. And i'm having difficulty sleeping again. And going to bed late, is probably not the best idea. I wake up continuously through the night and wake up at 8am or if i'm lucky 9am in the morning, i know this isn’t exactly early, but it is for someone as tired as me. You would think my body would allow me to sleep, seeing as i have absolutely no energy to do anything at the moment. Its making me tired just doing this blog now, and i can’t be bothered to text. This is unusual for me. I need sleep. Might go to bed and try and get some. Fingers crossed.
So the theatre production i was in is over. And i'm really upset about it, i’m going to miss this show, it’s been great. That’s all i have to say on the matter, too tired to right to be honest.
Gonna go to bed...
Night ox
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
sorry, its been a while..
It’s been a few days i know, but so much has been going on in the last...*counts on fingers* six days. Some good, some not so.
As you probably read in my last blog, my trust has been broken again, by someone that i really thought i could trust. I know it was accidental, and i forgive them completely. Infact, i'm glad some of the things got out; i don’t know how i would have told the person i needed to tell. I realise now, i can probably only trust three people in my life, by trust them, i mean completely, with my life. Please don't take offence; it's probably because we're not majorly close or something.
I trust two other people almost completely but I’ve heard things, and well i know it’s my own fault that we've drifted apart. And if you're reading this, i'm so sorry, i promised myself that i would never do this, especially to you. You’re both so special to me. You’ve been there for me so much in the last few years and i want to thank you for that. I promise you that i will make sure we get close again, and i will restore everything. I miss you two so much <3
Ooh, i started my job last Saturday, i work in a little card shop, and well I say little, it’s not really. I worked on the shop floor, tidying cards because it was the day before Fathers' day. And my boss said it wouldn’t be fair to till train me on a day like that, fair enough, i'm glad they didn’t. I met some nice people; they’re really friendly and have helped me out, getting to know everything.
So, I’ve been in three shows now, all gone pretty well, actually no, they've been great. I love doing things based on the war, it’s so interesting. My bestfriends have been in it with me and my god, they have such amazing singing voices, and I mean I knew that before the show. But sitting on stage listening to them, show after show, wow. I'm pretty jealous of them really; i would never have the confidence to do that. *tears come to my eyes* ...okay, need to stop talking about this, yeah they're amazing.
I went to a theme park with my boyfriend yesterday; i had such a lovely day. I didn’t realise until we were driving in the car that he's scared of one of the best rides there. And that he wasn’t a massive fan of rollercoaster’s and he agreed to go because i'd already got the tickets and he didn’t want to disappoint me *wells up again* and i told him i wouldn’t of been disappointed and he said i looked it when his car was playing up and we thought we couldn’t go. I love that he doesn’t want to disappoint me. But i felt so bad after that. Still do. But he made me proud and went on the ride he was scared of. We went on loads of other rides - including the water ones. And got some funny photos *sniggers*. We’re both saving up now, for next year, to go to the water park one day, stay in a hotel and go to the theme park the next day. yays.
over, dad's in a mood. again. oh great.
gonna go tidy my room and sort my life out.
ciao ox
As you probably read in my last blog, my trust has been broken again, by someone that i really thought i could trust. I know it was accidental, and i forgive them completely. Infact, i'm glad some of the things got out; i don’t know how i would have told the person i needed to tell. I realise now, i can probably only trust three people in my life, by trust them, i mean completely, with my life. Please don't take offence; it's probably because we're not majorly close or something.
I trust two other people almost completely but I’ve heard things, and well i know it’s my own fault that we've drifted apart. And if you're reading this, i'm so sorry, i promised myself that i would never do this, especially to you. You’re both so special to me. You’ve been there for me so much in the last few years and i want to thank you for that. I promise you that i will make sure we get close again, and i will restore everything. I miss you two so much <3
Ooh, i started my job last Saturday, i work in a little card shop, and well I say little, it’s not really. I worked on the shop floor, tidying cards because it was the day before Fathers' day. And my boss said it wouldn’t be fair to till train me on a day like that, fair enough, i'm glad they didn’t. I met some nice people; they’re really friendly and have helped me out, getting to know everything.
So, I’ve been in three shows now, all gone pretty well, actually no, they've been great. I love doing things based on the war, it’s so interesting. My bestfriends have been in it with me and my god, they have such amazing singing voices, and I mean I knew that before the show. But sitting on stage listening to them, show after show, wow. I'm pretty jealous of them really; i would never have the confidence to do that. *tears come to my eyes* ...okay, need to stop talking about this, yeah they're amazing.
I went to a theme park with my boyfriend yesterday; i had such a lovely day. I didn’t realise until we were driving in the car that he's scared of one of the best rides there. And that he wasn’t a massive fan of rollercoaster’s and he agreed to go because i'd already got the tickets and he didn’t want to disappoint me *wells up again* and i told him i wouldn’t of been disappointed and he said i looked it when his car was playing up and we thought we couldn’t go. I love that he doesn’t want to disappoint me. But i felt so bad after that. Still do. But he made me proud and went on the ride he was scared of. We went on loads of other rides - including the water ones. And got some funny photos *sniggers*. We’re both saving up now, for next year, to go to the water park one day, stay in a hotel and go to the theme park the next day. yays.
over, dad's in a mood. again. oh great.
gonna go tidy my room and sort my life out.
ciao ox
Thursday, 17 June 2010
fck.
what a bad bad bad day.
I'm in such a bad mood. crying. moody. upset. angry. crying. upset.
WOW. i really thought i could trust people in my life.
just shows you gotta be really carefully nowadays.
BYE/.
I'm in such a bad mood. crying. moody. upset. angry. crying. upset.
WOW. i really thought i could trust people in my life.
just shows you gotta be really carefully nowadays.
BYE/.
Sunday, 13 June 2010
nom nom
A little note to people who actually know me, i know you haven’t said anything to me or to anyone about what i have written in my blogs, but i would really appreciate if you kept it to yourself, like you have been doing, massive thank you.
I’ve been thinking a lot today and yesterday, about my future and I’ve come to the conclusion that my boyfriend wants me around, forever. And i can't tell you how happy that makes me. I want him to be around forever. He’s the first thing i think about in the morning and the last thing at night, cliché i know, but it’s true. Thing is, i can actually see myself being with him in 5, 10 and more years. It’s a great feeling, knowing things are so right with someone. I know this is all very hard to believe i'm sixteen with my whole life ahead of me. But when you’re welcomed into a family that you feel very much a part of, it changes things. I guess it makes things seem more real. i just spoke to him literally 10mins ago, and he's pretty stressed, his managers at work are over-working them, as per usual- absolute slave drivers the lot of them- and i actually wanted to run to where he works in my pjs looking a mess and give him a big cuddle, i was so tempted. And i wouldn’t care, because i'd be with him. I asked him, yesterday, if he would miss me this week as i won’t see him and his response was "hell yeah, cause i love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx" well boy! Did my face light up when i read that.
Better get back into the world of lime milkshake and chemistry revision
Ciao ox
I’ve been thinking a lot today and yesterday, about my future and I’ve come to the conclusion that my boyfriend wants me around, forever. And i can't tell you how happy that makes me. I want him to be around forever. He’s the first thing i think about in the morning and the last thing at night, cliché i know, but it’s true. Thing is, i can actually see myself being with him in 5, 10 and more years. It’s a great feeling, knowing things are so right with someone. I know this is all very hard to believe i'm sixteen with my whole life ahead of me. But when you’re welcomed into a family that you feel very much a part of, it changes things. I guess it makes things seem more real. i just spoke to him literally 10mins ago, and he's pretty stressed, his managers at work are over-working them, as per usual- absolute slave drivers the lot of them- and i actually wanted to run to where he works in my pjs looking a mess and give him a big cuddle, i was so tempted. And i wouldn’t care, because i'd be with him. I asked him, yesterday, if he would miss me this week as i won’t see him and his response was "hell yeah, cause i love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx" well boy! Did my face light up when i read that.
Better get back into the world of lime milkshake and chemistry revision
Ciao ox
wow!
The title of the blog is my mood right now, for some bad reasons, but mainly good.
I really don’t know what happened to me yesterday, i was completely fine until i guess it was midday, i got more than a little upset with everything, mainly myself. I managed to convince myself that i had done something terribly wrong, and messed everything up. i looked at old texts and things that i thought would cheer me up, no, i was wrong it made me worse, i was crying so much and i felt awful. I don’t know what came over me, after an hour or so after that i was completely fine again, as if nothing had happened. I’ve had a lot of mood swings this week, but nothing as bad as that before, it was like i had gone mad. Luckily it was only me in the house to see it.
That’s enough bad stuff...here's the good...
I went to my bestfriends dad's 50th birthday party last night, no it wasn’t boring, the opposite actually. It was me, my two bestfriends, my bestfriends friend, my boyfriend, and later came my boyfriends mum and sister, and my two best friend’s mums. We had a right laugh, lots of wine and beer later. I had a little Rose, but i didn’t like it much. I stayed with the adults i suppose while the other girls were looking out for the "hot" drummer. In my opinion, he was ugly. And i'm not just saying that because i have a boyfriend, i generally mean it. And he smoked as well, eurgh. We were having a right laugh, my boyfriends mum and one of my bestfriends mum were off talking to other people at the time. And my boyfriend’s sister made a comment that if I and my boyfriend ever broke up she would break his legs. A bit drastic i know, but she had had a lot of wine, and she's a little protective over me i guess, it’s because she thinks of me as a sister now, well so she said. She keeps telling me i'm her sister, which is absolutely lovely. i love fitting in with their family, as his sister described it last night "you're practically family" oh it makes me so happy to hear things like that. When the DJ was playing Bon Jovi- Livin' on a Prayer we all had to go and dance, and sing along to it. One of the lines in the song is 'Take my hand we'll make it - i swear' and my boyfriend held his hand out for me and i was like awww. He’s so cute. He was dancing with me to dancing queen too. Good bit of ABBA. Then i encouraged one of my bestfriends to go talk to her childhood sweetheart from when she was four, they were talking for ages. Me and my boyfriend left and went back to mine. We watched some telly downstairs and curled up on the sofa, and he said to me "I’ve got some bad news for you, looks like you’re stuck with me forever, or i get my legs broken" and i told him that that wasn’t bad news to me. And i said to him "i feel sorry for you, you’re stuck with me" and he said "i would have it any other way" awwww <3 made me so happy!
I'm probably boring you,
So ciao ox
I really don’t know what happened to me yesterday, i was completely fine until i guess it was midday, i got more than a little upset with everything, mainly myself. I managed to convince myself that i had done something terribly wrong, and messed everything up. i looked at old texts and things that i thought would cheer me up, no, i was wrong it made me worse, i was crying so much and i felt awful. I don’t know what came over me, after an hour or so after that i was completely fine again, as if nothing had happened. I’ve had a lot of mood swings this week, but nothing as bad as that before, it was like i had gone mad. Luckily it was only me in the house to see it.
That’s enough bad stuff...here's the good...
I went to my bestfriends dad's 50th birthday party last night, no it wasn’t boring, the opposite actually. It was me, my two bestfriends, my bestfriends friend, my boyfriend, and later came my boyfriends mum and sister, and my two best friend’s mums. We had a right laugh, lots of wine and beer later. I had a little Rose, but i didn’t like it much. I stayed with the adults i suppose while the other girls were looking out for the "hot" drummer. In my opinion, he was ugly. And i'm not just saying that because i have a boyfriend, i generally mean it. And he smoked as well, eurgh. We were having a right laugh, my boyfriends mum and one of my bestfriends mum were off talking to other people at the time. And my boyfriend’s sister made a comment that if I and my boyfriend ever broke up she would break his legs. A bit drastic i know, but she had had a lot of wine, and she's a little protective over me i guess, it’s because she thinks of me as a sister now, well so she said. She keeps telling me i'm her sister, which is absolutely lovely. i love fitting in with their family, as his sister described it last night "you're practically family" oh it makes me so happy to hear things like that. When the DJ was playing Bon Jovi- Livin' on a Prayer we all had to go and dance, and sing along to it. One of the lines in the song is 'Take my hand we'll make it - i swear' and my boyfriend held his hand out for me and i was like awww. He’s so cute. He was dancing with me to dancing queen too. Good bit of ABBA. Then i encouraged one of my bestfriends to go talk to her childhood sweetheart from when she was four, they were talking for ages. Me and my boyfriend left and went back to mine. We watched some telly downstairs and curled up on the sofa, and he said to me "I’ve got some bad news for you, looks like you’re stuck with me forever, or i get my legs broken" and i told him that that wasn’t bad news to me. And i said to him "i feel sorry for you, you’re stuck with me" and he said "i would have it any other way" awwww <3 made me so happy!
I'm probably boring you,
So ciao ox
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy :D
I’m in such a good mood it’s unbelievable. I'll tell you why.
At the moment, I am looking forward to leaving school, the reason being, if people want to keep in contact and like me, they will and the others well obviously they don’t matter very much if they can’t be bothered. I will keep in contact with the people that I want to, end of. I have 10 days left and 9 exams. 2 of which are tomorrow, biology and history (medicine) exam.
Today, it has been six months since me and my boyfriend have been going out. I genuinely think that these have been the happiest six months of my life.
Life is generally really good right now. I got a call from a lady at a local card shop today, for an interview on Thursday morning at 11AM. I’m nervous, but she's really nice. The job is for 11hours a week and i'm not sure how much i will get paid. But moneys money right? 11 hours isn’t much and it will probably be evenings anyway.
Better revise,
Ciao ox
At the moment, I am looking forward to leaving school, the reason being, if people want to keep in contact and like me, they will and the others well obviously they don’t matter very much if they can’t be bothered. I will keep in contact with the people that I want to, end of. I have 10 days left and 9 exams. 2 of which are tomorrow, biology and history (medicine) exam.
Today, it has been six months since me and my boyfriend have been going out. I genuinely think that these have been the happiest six months of my life.
Life is generally really good right now. I got a call from a lady at a local card shop today, for an interview on Thursday morning at 11AM. I’m nervous, but she's really nice. The job is for 11hours a week and i'm not sure how much i will get paid. But moneys money right? 11 hours isn’t much and it will probably be evenings anyway.
Better revise,
Ciao ox
Monday, 7 June 2010
oooh!
I forgot to tell you my other good news, silly me.
My mum has signed me up for the gym. Yay. I’m well excited about going now. I have to go for a little introduction meeting to make a fitness plan and look around. Healthy slim girl here i come! My boyfriend might join as well, depending whether he can get out of this other gym, not that he actually goes to that one, stupid boy. But the one i'm going to has loads of treadmills, which i love, classes for aerobics which i also love, and i can start my swimming again, yay. I miss swimming every week. So hopefully by my birthday i'll be a lot slimmer and toned up. I want to wear a beautiful dress on my birthday. I guess that’s one of my incentives. I’d like to look nice for Christmas and New Year as well. And also by then, me and my boyfriend will have been together a year. And i definitely want to look good for then. I'm actually so so so excited i can’t even tell you. I’m like a little kid at Christmas. I can’t wait until the 21st of June!
Oooh. And it’s my mum's birthday tomorrow, yay. Happy birthday to the best mum in the world! <3 we're going out for lunch after my revision session tomorrow. I love her.
Ciao ox
My mum has signed me up for the gym. Yay. I’m well excited about going now. I have to go for a little introduction meeting to make a fitness plan and look around. Healthy slim girl here i come! My boyfriend might join as well, depending whether he can get out of this other gym, not that he actually goes to that one, stupid boy. But the one i'm going to has loads of treadmills, which i love, classes for aerobics which i also love, and i can start my swimming again, yay. I miss swimming every week. So hopefully by my birthday i'll be a lot slimmer and toned up. I want to wear a beautiful dress on my birthday. I guess that’s one of my incentives. I’d like to look nice for Christmas and New Year as well. And also by then, me and my boyfriend will have been together a year. And i definitely want to look good for then. I'm actually so so so excited i can’t even tell you. I’m like a little kid at Christmas. I can’t wait until the 21st of June!
Oooh. And it’s my mum's birthday tomorrow, yay. Happy birthday to the best mum in the world! <3 we're going out for lunch after my revision session tomorrow. I love her.
Ciao ox
eeheeee. happy blog!
Sorry about the crazy-ness of the title, i'm in a good and positive mood for a change.
I got my non-calculator math exam out of the way today, much to my relief it was easier than i thought it would be. Maths is the one i most panic about. I'm not sure why they put me in the top set, i struggle with maths and half the times i think my teachers are speaking a foreign language. I lost sleep over that exam, thinking back it was silly of me, but i suppose i had reason to panic. I was C-D borderline according to my teacher, which to be quite honest, shocked me, i didn’t realise i was doing that badly, i thought i had a strong C. obviously i was wrong, so i need to do really well on both math papers this week, or i will have to re-do it in sixth form, meaning i would have to drop one of my chosen options. Something i really don’t want to do.
On a happier note, tomorrow is my six months with my boyfriend, eee. You have no idea how happy it makes me, and how much i smile. That’s half a year! Wow. The longest relationship I’ve been in. And the happiest one too.
I better shush now and do some revision.
Talk soon
ciao ox
I got my non-calculator math exam out of the way today, much to my relief it was easier than i thought it would be. Maths is the one i most panic about. I'm not sure why they put me in the top set, i struggle with maths and half the times i think my teachers are speaking a foreign language. I lost sleep over that exam, thinking back it was silly of me, but i suppose i had reason to panic. I was C-D borderline according to my teacher, which to be quite honest, shocked me, i didn’t realise i was doing that badly, i thought i had a strong C. obviously i was wrong, so i need to do really well on both math papers this week, or i will have to re-do it in sixth form, meaning i would have to drop one of my chosen options. Something i really don’t want to do.
On a happier note, tomorrow is my six months with my boyfriend, eee. You have no idea how happy it makes me, and how much i smile. That’s half a year! Wow. The longest relationship I’ve been in. And the happiest one too.
I better shush now and do some revision.
Talk soon
ciao ox
Friday, 4 June 2010
oh dear..
I found out today, medically i am unhealthy, i knew it already, but to hear it from a doctor is different. I’m at risk. frick! so she's told me to lose weight. and this time i'm determined. i don’t wanna become like those people you see on Supersize Vs Super Skinny. I don’t want to look the way i do. so i'm determined. by my birthday, which is just under three months, i want to be at least a stone lighter, if not more if it’s possible. i'm not unhappy like i used to be, so i guess it will be easier. i have a few reasons to lose weight now. medical, for myself, and for my boyfriend. i'm sure he doesn’t want to be seen with a whale. I'll let you know how it all goes. I might make an appointment with the nurse at the doctors, my doctor recommended it. she what she has to say. I want to be a size 12. i always have. but not yet got there. I will one day, i'm determined. i will do it.
i just broke down, in front of my mum. she's really supportive of me making this change and she's going to do it as well, which is a comfort. i'm going to start the week after i finish my exams, just get them out of the way before i start. i'm going to eat healthy, do exercise and weigh myself weekly. It’s a good plan. and i'm in the right frame of mind for it now.
i'll keep you posted.
ciao ox
i just broke down, in front of my mum. she's really supportive of me making this change and she's going to do it as well, which is a comfort. i'm going to start the week after i finish my exams, just get them out of the way before i start. i'm going to eat healthy, do exercise and weigh myself weekly. It’s a good plan. and i'm in the right frame of mind for it now.
i'll keep you posted.
ciao ox
eurgh
The title is for many reasons, i will explain.
So for the last couple of days I’ve cracked down and actually properly focused and revised. But i can’t keep the concentration going. I feel tired. And its only 14 days until i finish my exams- two weeks- oh shit.
On a happier note, i had a water fight with my boyfriend yesterday, wow i was completely drenched. I was wearing my new summer dress and it stuck to me after. I had to put my dress in the tumble dryer and dry my hair. It was really funny. But i have no idea why the hell he finds me attractive after looking at the photos. I look like a complete idiot. Another reason to lose weight i guess.
Hopefully, fingers crossed i'm going to see Paramore in November, eee. My boyfriend’s sister told me about it today, and asked if i would be interested. YES PLEASE. I’ve heard all about what Hayley Williams did recently and everyone’s making a huge deal over it. I don’t actually care to be honest. It was a mistake. If she hadn’t of been famous hardly anyone would know about it. No one would care. But because of fame, it’s a huge deal. I still idolize her. She’s so talented and beautiful. Everyone makes mistakes. So what if she has no boobs or whatever, the facebook groups are pathetic. You wouldn’t make them about some randomer from school would you? so why about her. Because it’s funny? Well actually it’s not, it’s pathetic. Everyone’s slagging her off since it happened. Well i'm sticking up for her. Everyone’s jealous of her to be honest. And they have a right to be, she's amazing.
I'm done.
ciao ox
So for the last couple of days I’ve cracked down and actually properly focused and revised. But i can’t keep the concentration going. I feel tired. And its only 14 days until i finish my exams- two weeks- oh shit.
On a happier note, i had a water fight with my boyfriend yesterday, wow i was completely drenched. I was wearing my new summer dress and it stuck to me after. I had to put my dress in the tumble dryer and dry my hair. It was really funny. But i have no idea why the hell he finds me attractive after looking at the photos. I look like a complete idiot. Another reason to lose weight i guess.
Hopefully, fingers crossed i'm going to see Paramore in November, eee. My boyfriend’s sister told me about it today, and asked if i would be interested. YES PLEASE. I’ve heard all about what Hayley Williams did recently and everyone’s making a huge deal over it. I don’t actually care to be honest. It was a mistake. If she hadn’t of been famous hardly anyone would know about it. No one would care. But because of fame, it’s a huge deal. I still idolize her. She’s so talented and beautiful. Everyone makes mistakes. So what if she has no boobs or whatever, the facebook groups are pathetic. You wouldn’t make them about some randomer from school would you? so why about her. Because it’s funny? Well actually it’s not, it’s pathetic. Everyone’s slagging her off since it happened. Well i'm sticking up for her. Everyone’s jealous of her to be honest. And they have a right to be, she's amazing.
I'm done.
ciao ox
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
i guess i need to say this
*deep breaths...in...out...in...out*
I don’t think i'm going to cope over the next month. I really don’t. I have most of my exams and a show to put on. Well six shows in total. I’m not worried so much about the show it’s the exams. I think for the next month i'm going to resign myself to textbooks and revision guides, these will be the reading material. They will be my friends and extended family. Ironically, i typed fail instead of family. I’m not going to have much of a social life, or life i suppose in the next month. Blogs, facebooking and tweets will probably be minimal. I suppose this Saturday will be my last night of freedom, apart from rehearsals. Spending that time with my boyfriend will be very important to me. Even if only for a few hours. I will most likely become irritable, moody and tired. As i expect i will have difficulty sleeping in the next few weeks, oh joy- something to look forward to. Oh fuuuu--- just realised i have 16 days until my last exam. Fuck.
I've also realised one of my flaws. I can’t be open about my feelings- face to face. I have some difficulty with saying things to people close to me. I think that’s why i write so much of it in my blogs because i just can’t say it to the people. take my boyfriend for example, i tell him i love him face to face- no problem- if i tried to tell him how much he actually means to me i think he would run a mile. If i told him half the things i think he would run. and also i don’t feel like i can talk to my bestfriends about all this because i don’t want to make them feel bad- they are two amazing girls that deserve so much happiness. They deserve to feel the way i do with someone by their side. Trouble is, the boys they like don’t realise how special they are. And i feel if i tell them all this stuff they will get upset- like i would feel as if i'm rubbing it in their faces. Which i don’t wanna come across as i'm doing. If you know me, you would realise i'm not like that at all.
So i best make friends with my history textbook and then my biology revision guide.
I hope to blog soon, but if not, i shall see you in just under a month.
Ciao ox
I don’t think i'm going to cope over the next month. I really don’t. I have most of my exams and a show to put on. Well six shows in total. I’m not worried so much about the show it’s the exams. I think for the next month i'm going to resign myself to textbooks and revision guides, these will be the reading material. They will be my friends and extended family. Ironically, i typed fail instead of family. I’m not going to have much of a social life, or life i suppose in the next month. Blogs, facebooking and tweets will probably be minimal. I suppose this Saturday will be my last night of freedom, apart from rehearsals. Spending that time with my boyfriend will be very important to me. Even if only for a few hours. I will most likely become irritable, moody and tired. As i expect i will have difficulty sleeping in the next few weeks, oh joy- something to look forward to. Oh fuuuu--- just realised i have 16 days until my last exam. Fuck.
I've also realised one of my flaws. I can’t be open about my feelings- face to face. I have some difficulty with saying things to people close to me. I think that’s why i write so much of it in my blogs because i just can’t say it to the people. take my boyfriend for example, i tell him i love him face to face- no problem- if i tried to tell him how much he actually means to me i think he would run a mile. If i told him half the things i think he would run. and also i don’t feel like i can talk to my bestfriends about all this because i don’t want to make them feel bad- they are two amazing girls that deserve so much happiness. They deserve to feel the way i do with someone by their side. Trouble is, the boys they like don’t realise how special they are. And i feel if i tell them all this stuff they will get upset- like i would feel as if i'm rubbing it in their faces. Which i don’t wanna come across as i'm doing. If you know me, you would realise i'm not like that at all.
So i best make friends with my history textbook and then my biology revision guide.
I hope to blog soon, but if not, i shall see you in just under a month.
Ciao ox
this might be a long one...
I have so much to tell you about.
Let’s start with Saturday, the rugby match that i told you i was going to. Well it wasn’t anything that i had expected, very different indeed. We travelled by lots of trains and tubes and got there i think it was about two-ish. And the rugby started at half five, so we had a fair amount of time. We went to a pub to meet my boyfriend's mum's friend, and his friend. They seemed really nice and quite funny too. Three or four pints later, not for me obviously, i hate beer. It’s horrid. We went round the corner to a smaller but more packed pub and had more drinks there, this time i had a J2O- yum. The friend that we had met up with did a lot of talking and taking the mick a little, out of my dimples. He was getting a little drunk at this point and smoking a fair bit too. I sometimes find drunk men rather pervy and repulsive- i don’t think it helped that he grabbed me round the waist and said "hello sexy" not only did it scare the shit out of me, but it made me feel really self conscious. And i don’t need to feel that anymore than i already do. I looked round to see if my boyfriend saw so i could give him a 'help-me-get-away-from-this-man' look. But he didn’t. Unfortunately for me. After that we went to the stadium and walked round a little then went to our seats, we were so close to the pitch. My boyfriend started acting like a little boy on Christmas day, it was so cute how excited he got. He's so passionate about rugby. As i found out during the match. It was so tense and they weren’t playing brilliantly. My boyfriend got very frustrated and tense himself. I didn’t like that side of him much- i think it was probably cos i don’t want to see him like that if you get what i mean, i want to make things better for him, so he's not like that. Thankfully, they did win in the end, and he was so happy about this- as was i, but not so much. We got something to eat after the match- this i was truly grateful for; i hadn’t eaten anything for 12 or so hours. We walked all the way back to the pub which took just under an hour i think. We had to walk so fast, before it got dark. My feet were killing when i got home. All in all, it was such a good day. Although, i was absolutely shattered when i got home. This was because i got up at half eight and didn’t get to bed until one in the morning. A long day.
Sunday was chilled out, then a had rehearsals which was nice. Mostly chatting to my bestfriends and having a laugh.
Monday, wow. I was having my boyfriend stay over for the first time- before i carry on, no it was not for sexual purposes, sorry to disappoint you. He came over in the afternoon and we just chilled and watched DVDs and films chatting away to each other. I discovered that the best feeling in the world is feeling so comfortable with someone that you don’t even care what you look like in the morning; i had crazy bed hair and no makeup. Yet i wasn’t bothered what-so-ever. Snuggling up in bed with him was so good. I suppose you see it in the romance films and always want it to happen to you, and when it does; wow. When i was getting ready in the morning, i got dressed in the bathroom and went back into my room to grab my make up to go and do in the bathroom and my boyfriend came in behind me and saw me putting it on and wrapped his arms around me and told me i didn’t need make up, and that i was beautiful the way i was. This made me overly happy. I cannot tell you how good it is to hear someone say that to you.
Is that the time? Oh shiiiiit.
Better go,
Ciao ox
Let’s start with Saturday, the rugby match that i told you i was going to. Well it wasn’t anything that i had expected, very different indeed. We travelled by lots of trains and tubes and got there i think it was about two-ish. And the rugby started at half five, so we had a fair amount of time. We went to a pub to meet my boyfriend's mum's friend, and his friend. They seemed really nice and quite funny too. Three or four pints later, not for me obviously, i hate beer. It’s horrid. We went round the corner to a smaller but more packed pub and had more drinks there, this time i had a J2O- yum. The friend that we had met up with did a lot of talking and taking the mick a little, out of my dimples. He was getting a little drunk at this point and smoking a fair bit too. I sometimes find drunk men rather pervy and repulsive- i don’t think it helped that he grabbed me round the waist and said "hello sexy" not only did it scare the shit out of me, but it made me feel really self conscious. And i don’t need to feel that anymore than i already do. I looked round to see if my boyfriend saw so i could give him a 'help-me-get-away-from-this-man' look. But he didn’t. Unfortunately for me. After that we went to the stadium and walked round a little then went to our seats, we were so close to the pitch. My boyfriend started acting like a little boy on Christmas day, it was so cute how excited he got. He's so passionate about rugby. As i found out during the match. It was so tense and they weren’t playing brilliantly. My boyfriend got very frustrated and tense himself. I didn’t like that side of him much- i think it was probably cos i don’t want to see him like that if you get what i mean, i want to make things better for him, so he's not like that. Thankfully, they did win in the end, and he was so happy about this- as was i, but not so much. We got something to eat after the match- this i was truly grateful for; i hadn’t eaten anything for 12 or so hours. We walked all the way back to the pub which took just under an hour i think. We had to walk so fast, before it got dark. My feet were killing when i got home. All in all, it was such a good day. Although, i was absolutely shattered when i got home. This was because i got up at half eight and didn’t get to bed until one in the morning. A long day.
Sunday was chilled out, then a had rehearsals which was nice. Mostly chatting to my bestfriends and having a laugh.
Monday, wow. I was having my boyfriend stay over for the first time- before i carry on, no it was not for sexual purposes, sorry to disappoint you. He came over in the afternoon and we just chilled and watched DVDs and films chatting away to each other. I discovered that the best feeling in the world is feeling so comfortable with someone that you don’t even care what you look like in the morning; i had crazy bed hair and no makeup. Yet i wasn’t bothered what-so-ever. Snuggling up in bed with him was so good. I suppose you see it in the romance films and always want it to happen to you, and when it does; wow. When i was getting ready in the morning, i got dressed in the bathroom and went back into my room to grab my make up to go and do in the bathroom and my boyfriend came in behind me and saw me putting it on and wrapped his arms around me and told me i didn’t need make up, and that i was beautiful the way i was. This made me overly happy. I cannot tell you how good it is to hear someone say that to you.
Is that the time? Oh shiiiiit.
Better go,
Ciao ox
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)